Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
