dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
