Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
