About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
