i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
