i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
