Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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