Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
