There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
