yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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