he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
