Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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