Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
