you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
