Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
