Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
