Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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