Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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