you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
