Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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