I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
