All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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