There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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