But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
