Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
