I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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