why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
