id be glad to
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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