Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
