And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
