i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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