i already hear my dad disowning me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
