hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
