After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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