you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
