Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
