Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
