that's an acceptable place to lick
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
