I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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