god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
