We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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