i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
