I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
