some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
