goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
