Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Terrible idea I love it
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
