I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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