escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
