i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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