he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
