:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And then he peed in my hair
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